No matter what I do, even when not trying to be "inventive" or "original" (lalalala, think outside the box, yeah... blah blah blah...)
.... it's still all wrong, poor, crappy, inconvenient, ugly, shitty, uses too much battery, and causes prostate cancer.
And most importantly, still not "like this other app" ("other app" meaning any of dozens).
My middle name must be "Mr Loser".