You can set that individually for each account:
Account-list view -> long press on the account to bring up account-specific settings -> Options and Folders -> Composing and sending -> BCC to self
That should do what you want.
A side note, - I am not sure what you mean by "phone doesn't automatically sync itself with my laptop". The phone syncs with the mail server, your laptop's mail program syncs with the mail server. Thus the changes (new messages) in the "Sent" folder made on one device should propagate to all devices. If it doesn't, - you might need to configure what is the folder name for the "Sent" folder, and designate it to sync with your "Sent" folder on the phone.
You can do that by going to:
Account-list view -> long press on the account to bring up account-specific settings -> Options and Folders -> Folders, and then clicking on the folder used for the sent messages by the server (and your laptop's mail program). Note, that different servers and programs can have those called differently: sent-mail, Sent, "Sent Messages".
All this is assuming that you are using IMAP connection. AFAIK, it would not work with POP3. (And I have no idea about EWS [MS Exchange], but suspect it should work with that too.)
Hope this helps.
